Backyard Awesome Possum

Ok. So I forgot the batteries. My bad.

What I did do this evening tops the pic I had planned to put up though. I ate homemade pizza that was freshly baked in the Family's backyard bake oven (that they built themselves- they're so damn crafty!)

And I did it all sitting in the backyard while wearing nothing more than a pair of sweats and a long sleeve t-shirt because it really was that warm today. I'm not even kidding- it was still about +11 outside at around 5.30. Ridiculous.

I know the weather at home sucks, but I am really enjoying my "tropical winter vacation". The weather is supposed to be nice tomorrow too, which is nice b/c I am really tired of the constant chilly drizzle/hard rain we've been getting. I think I would actually rather have snow, believe that or not.

Batteries

I am hopefully going to pick up some new batteries today when I go to the grocery store. Why is this important, you ask? B/c I have a sweet pic one of my kids drew for me that I have been dying to show you. Cross your fingers that it photographs well :)

I just don't get it

I really don't understand why people sweep their front paths. I mean, how do you decide that it is dirty enough to require a good sweep? Do you look at it and say, "hmmm, that is a walk no self-respecting pair of shoes would tread on"? or is it one of those things that inspires your neighbours to keep their houses cleaner- you know the whole "well if Mrs. Jones' house is so clean that she has time to spend cleaning the outdoors with the same sort of intensity- maybe I should be doing it too?"

I really don't get it. And I can see at least 2 different places where it is happening right now, just by glancing out my window. I could prolly eat off those damn sidewalks. Do they really need to be that clean, or is it just a time filler?

Just a Few More Laughs

I know I've been throwing nothing other than comedy up for a few days now and I'm sorry. There is just so much funny stuff out there. I'll try to keep my comedic addiction to myself (lol) but I've gotta share this with you all first.

Warning- Fans of Alanis Morrisette should walk away now.

For Andy

Miss ya!

No Pun Intended

Try explaining to a class of German students why saying, "Childbirth is a labourous process" is funny. Now imagine your supervisor (dying of laughter in the corner) leaving you to blindly grasp at any way to explain it so it makes sense.

*sigh* Thanks for your help there, Nigel :P

More Humour

If you have a bunch of wasteable time on your hands, you should check out Michael Macintyre. A British Comedian, but bloody hilarious. Worth your time :)

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Lego and Eddie Izzard

Check out Eddie Izzard's whole James Bond Rant

Double Digits

That's right- I am finally into the double digits :)

97 Days.

Woot.

Is This Really Necessary?

I'm not sure why anyone would buy this, especially given the fact that the world is trying to be more environmentally conscious, but there is currently a couple of rolls of 4 ply toilet paper in the bathroom. 4 ply- yeah, I know, eh? It's also sort of almost embossed looking with these ridiculous daisy things.

I just thought I would mention the fact the it seems a bit like overkill to me.

Master of Technology

I am a giant idiot. Like the computer that I've had for four years, the useful bits of my iPod are just now coming to light. I don't know anyone who really needs a stopwatch or solitaire on their music player, but ok.

I finally figured out how to sync music so I could actually find it. You know, I sometimes wonder if I didn't have that fancy looking piece of paper that said I had a degree, if people wouldn't just think I legitimately was as stupid as I come off as? *Sigh* My glasses may make me look smarter...but based on my "ability" to use everyday technology... I don't think they actually make me smarter. lol.

Potentially, reading the manual would help, but maybe its more like (in the immortal words of Corb Lund): "...ain't never read a manual cause that's like cheatin"

Carnival

I am Carnival'd out and I didn't even go to any of the parades. I am just tired of hearing about it. But I do have some pictures to show you guys. I figured at the very least, you'd prolly like to see them.

The theme at my school this year was Pirates of the Carribean.

Here is Claudia, my mentor.

Claudia and me- check out my sweet left hook. HAHAHAHA. LMAO. Ok- well, I thought it was funny...

Then there was this dude.


During Carnival people dress up randomly, as whatever strikes their fancy. Apparently this guy's fancy was to be Merlin. Yeah, it was intense. And complete with multiple dead animals. I saw him a few hours before we took this picture, he was headed to a party. I couldn't help but stare a bit. Then when Elise and I saw him on the train later that same evening, we needed to take a picture with him. So we went up and asked him if we could take his picture. He was in. As I was standing beside him, he did the not so subtle arm around my shoulders and got waaaaay in my space.

Let me see if I can sum the post-photo moment up for you: I almost got molested by a drunk-ass Merlin on the Ahrtalbahn.

WTF? How many times does a person get to say something like that during their lifetime?

A Few Pics and Stories

This weekend I wandered up to Landskrone and the Rotweinwanderweg again with Elise. The path we took and the view from the top are pretty nice. Although, it does go up on a pretty steady angle for most of the trip. Oh, did I mention that it takes about 3 1/2 hours to get there and back? Ugh, my feetsies hurt just thinking about it.

We actually almost didn't go because I really had to psych myself up for it. But we had a great time, even though it was a bit of a misty drizzly day. Although, the mist was kinda cool because when we got to Landskrone, we were high up enough that we were in it. I may be just on crack or whatever, but it was a really strange feeling to breathe in the mist that high up. It was like sitting too close to a humidifier and breathing in super wet air.

Nature's humidifier above the vinyards

Me hiding in this random cave we found near the chapel just below Landskrone

Look What I Made, Ma!

K. Now I know my area of actual sort of expertise is history and definitely NOT film, but a couple of days ago I realized that I had Movie Maker on my laptop. Yeah, I know it's pretty sad, especially considering that I've had this computer for almost four years now. However, since I've got it, I should prolly use it a bit.

Please, keep in mind that this is my first attempt and I threw it together in about an hour. I do hope you all enjoy it. I also know that the whole "what I miss from home" thing is getting old, but I already sort of had a group of pics for that and that made the whole process easier :)

So without further ramblings, Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present:

The Week in 7 Sentences

Here is a quick rundown of the last week.

Monday: I was ignored and sent home early from my only class.

Tuesday: I caught hell for being anti-social from my mentor, who doesn't actually have time to spend with me anyway.

Wednesday: I got guilted into going to the school's Carnival evening for the parents.

Thursday: I got shafted into going to the kids' Carnival day celebration at the school.

Friday: I did pretty much nothing.

Saturday: Elise came over and we spent the evening drinking in the tower at the park and eating banana bread.

Sunday: Elise and I spent 3 hours climbing up to Landskrone and back.

I then started the new week by not actually going to the big Carnival parade and festivities in Cologne, like I had previously planned. Elise and I watched some sweet movies instead. I did take some more pictures of Landskrone on Sunday. I will try and put some up.

Classic

This made me actually miss snow a bit. Well, not the snow itself really- maybe more like the idea of snow. I am also hella glad that this is not me:

Stolen from Megan

Pics to Post

I have some pics from a few Carnival things at the school, but I don't have the energy right now to go hunt down my camera and upload them. Look for them on Monday or Tuesday after the big Carnival celebration in Cologne. I may as well upload them all at once. Look forward to them.

Lunch with the Devil

Not as sinister as it sounds. My host mom was dressed up as a devil for her school's Carnival celebration. She hadn't changed after school, so it was truly a devil that dished out my almost sinfully tasty soup.

Yum.

Still Irritated

The only thing that makes me feel better is that Karnival is coming up and school is basically cancelled from thursday afternoon until wednesday next week.

Fantastic.

Irritated

I know it's my natural state. But today has so far outdone any previous irritation I have ever experienced (with the exception of standing on a parade deck in the hot sun for 4 1/2 hours during a change of command at Quadra).

Would someone please explain to me why the teachers' lack of planning is somehow my fault? Why am I catching shit b/c they are incompetent? This makes no sense. They know where to find me if they need me. I should not have to constantly hunt them down. They also have my email address. I friggen hate my job. I hate useless people. And I hate people who expect me to be omniscient.

Do I ask them to teach blind on a novel that they have not even read? No. Anytime common sense wants to actually become COMMON, I am down with that.

105 Days of Hell left.

A Drink with Jam and Bread

The other day I drank tea with my jam and bread. Do you know what that means? It means that if Julie Andrews had been here we could have sung about it. And we could have one first prize at the festival as well.

Julie- Where were you the one time I actually needed you???

Can You Smell What The Rock is Cooking?

K. I know he's one of those actors who kinda slips in under the radar and you forget about him til you see him in something. But I think the man has some talent. I haven't seen a movie that he's been in that didn't have some awesome comedic content. I watched the new release of Get Smart today- it was ridiculously funny.

However, it was wrestling that got the whole thing started- so I have found you some classic tribute videos. Ahhh, the memories. The Rock: the man who made the third person cool.

The Wall of Love

Happy Valentines Day.

I got a package today from Manda with lots of cool things in it. There was also a Christmas card from Australia and a Valentine's Day card, plus a cool pic. So, I decided that I finally had enough cards and stuff that they were getting in the way on the bookshelf and so I put them up on the wall:

I feel the love :)

Loose Pennies

The other day I was counting my pennies out of my penny jar to see how much I had in there. The result:

That is 23 Euros worth of pennies people.

Is it wrong, that while I was counting and sorting and piling, I sort of felt like Scrooge and his mountainous piles of coinage? All I could picture in my head were random scenes from a Christmas Carol.

Bah Humbug indeed. Now I gotta figure out what I am going to do with it all. I really don't think many cashiers are going to be thrilled when I pay in nothing but 20 cent pieces...

Exactness As A Way of Life

I came across these couple of things a couple weeks ago. I wasn't sure at first if they were worth documenting, let alone posting, but here you are:

Ok- so a 1 1/4 Litre bottle of coke is only slightly odd. Would it be more odd if I told you they come in packs of 6?

Buying your TP like this leaves no room for surprises. You know EXACTLY what you are getting.

Sweet Tagline

The tagline for Crank: High Voltage:

He was dead...but he got better.

I can't wait to see this movie. That line says it all- pure mindless entertainment :)

Grits

I ate grits for the first time today. I was a bit confused as to whether or not I actually liked it because my host mom had baked it into some sort of johnnycake type thing with cherries in it, topped with vanilla sauce. The food was great, but I couldn't really taste the grits themselves.

It was a pretty sweet (hahaha- pun intended) breakfast though :)

Random Things I Came Across Today

Things I didn't know about the Muppets, like their origins and stuff. Found HERE.

Painful awesomeness courtesy of Ellen and Gladys.

Learn how to catch your prince Disney Style.

Random Spoof of 300.

A music video where the singers only make a token appearance in the clouds: The Highwayman

The saddest song ever.

The Definition of Awesome

The Definition of Awesome:

An alien Bach steps out of his spaceship and says, "Take me to your Lieder."

HAHAHAHAHA. I feel like a better person for having shared this :D

Wer reitet so spät durch Nacht und Wind?

This has to be one of my favourite pieces of poetry, behind Robert W. Service's The Cremation of Sam McGee (my ultimate favorite).

Goethe wrote Der Erlkoenig and it has since been set to music (a shout out here to Rhonda- she sang it wonderfully during one of her performances!). I love the way you can hear the horse riding in the first line.* And a giant plus- now that I've been in Germany for a while now, my pronunciation doesn't suck so bad and I am now capable of reading it aloud. The link above also includes a few different translations on the page, some better than others.

If you are not so interested in reading the poem, you can check it out here. There are like a million versions of this one YouTube, but I like this one the best b/c of the facial expressions of the guy singing it :D

*The last line always make me a bit sad though- stupid Erlkoenig.

One of My Favourite Things!

There is nothing better than a bunwich. Seriously- fresh baked bun, tasty sandwich things inside. Fantastic!

Actually there is something better. Bunwiches for BREAKFAST. Bread and meat and cheese are big here and come in a million different varieties, so eating even two buns means multiple possibilities for breakfast type awesomeness. That's four pieces of bread for mix and matching on! It was sooo good.

Although, I do have to say that I was mighty confused when the Family called me for breakfast. I know it's Saturday, but still, one in the afternoon doesn't seem so breakfast-y. There was also some super tasty homemade jam. Now, if only I could convince the Family that peanut butter is not weird tasting and random. It was the only thing missing this morning :D

It was truly a breakfast of champions!

Boss Free

Yesterday I spoke to both the head of the English department (M) and the head of the Bilingual Department (C). I was under the impression that the head of the English department was my head honcho. Then this happened:

Me: I may need to take a few days off coming up here. Is that ok?
M: Why are you asking me? I'm not your boss- check with C.

20 minutes later:

Me: I may need to take a few days off coming up here. Is that ok?
C: Why are you asking me? I'm not your boss- check with M.

It was starting to feel like a vicious cycle. I am just going to assume that since I apparently have no actual boss, just stating firmly to both of them that I am going to take those 3 days off will be enough.

What is the worst they could do? Hmmm? Send me home?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Indeed.

The Magic of YouTube Compels You!

I wasn't sure what was funnier when I watched this: the fact that it is a song about another song, the awesome 70s embroidery on his clothes, or the fact that he kept interrupting his performance to talk to the guy in the audience.

It is a sweet song though. Thank you Marty Robbins.

An Ear Worm

It's been stuck in my head ever since I filled out the 25 things about me thing and mentioned teddy bears. I also hadn't realized how old this song is- the words are about 100 years old. It's classic and I told Aaron I would put it up if I found a semi decent recording

My Bad, Part ?

Ooops. It occurred to me today that I have written nothing about Germany in a long time. I guess that was the point of having a blog while I was away, but nothing really interesting has happened lately. Luckily, however, I have lots of other random things to chat about. Lucky you guys! Free admission into my head :)

sweet.

Big Things I have Seen

HAHAHA, sorry, the title does seem a bit dirty, but that's not how I meant it at all! lol. I was talking about the World's Largest (WL) Roadside Landmarks of various types and thinking about ones I have seen. I made a list, most of the ones I've seen are in Alberta:

1)WL Mallard Duck- Andrew, AB
2)WL Beaver- Beaverlodge, AB
3)WL Dinosaur- Drumheller, AB
4)WL Pyrogy- Glendon, AB
5)WL Easter Egg-Vegreville, AB
6)WL Tomahawk- Cut Knife, SK

Random things I've seen that aren't the WL, but still worthy of mention:
1) Labatt Blue Beer Can- Edmonton, AB
2) Giant weird horse bone thing somewhere in Sask.
3) Ukrainian Sausage- Mundare, AB
4) UFO Data Pad and Landing Centre - St. Paul, AB
5) Big Buffalo- Wainwright, AB
6) Tiny Church- Drumheller, AB
7) I also saw a really big Tipi somewhere in AB or SK.

And, b/c my blogs have been kinda text heavy lately, I have a few pics of these rockin' places for you all:


Itty bitty Church

Big Buffalo

Ryan taking a pic of the Tomahawk

Largest Dino, Drumheller

Beaverlodge, AB

Things I thought about today

I feel kinda chatty today. So I will let you in on some of the things I remember thinking about today:

1) 3 cups of coffee in a row was a bad idea.
2) heels are super impractical for pretty much everything, but wearing them to go for a walk takes the cake.
3) a dog carrying its leash neatly folded in its mouth looks a lot cuter than their tool owner, who is too lazy to carry the damn leash.
4) Germans are just as inefficient as the rest of us and people are dumb everywhere.
5) the perfume Mom gave me for my birthday last year smells really good.
6) I should just give in and buy some slippers.
7) hitting an elk with your car has to be just as scary as hitting a moose.

Picking up the Gauntlet, Part 1

As challenged by Kirsty, I am picking the gauntlet up. Also, this has been insanely popular on Facecrack lately and I am all "intense" and stuff about following the group -here we go. I've just gotta say though, that despite thinking about this for the majority of the day doesn't necessarily mean that my 25 will be well thought out and not lame.

1) I have been in Germany for 5 months and my German is still crap. My accent is better but I still have the vocab of a 5 year old.

2) I love pastry beyond all reason, especially those awesome chocolate croissant thingies.

3) I have had the same teddy bear since I was 13. And I bring him everywhere still. Including my trip to Germany. I also got all original and named him Teddy.

4) If I am too cold when I sleep then I will always have nightmares. I have a lot of nightmares anyway. I also have a lot of recurring dreams. I believe that dream catchers do help with nightmares, but I never think about getting one 'til after I have a nightmare.

5) When I dream it usually somehow involves the last thing I read or watched. My dreams were way messed up when I read the Twilight series. Last night I dreamt about Pineapple Express. It was even more messed up than Twilight; I have never seen so much weed in my life as in that dream.

6) I make fantastic homemade soup and Manda has invited me to cook for the coffee shop she is eventually opening :)

7) Everytime I see someone running for fun, I almost always feel the urge to punch them in the back of the head. This is especially bad if they are wearing those creepy spandex outfits. *shudder*

8) I have dreams about my dog, Nora, getting old and dying and it scares the crap out of me. It's stupid b/c she's not even two years old yet. When I had her fixed, the paperwork that said she might die terrified me. I spent the day before she went in for surgery taking pictures of her in case something went wrong and she died.

9) I am a crap planner, but not planning something to the last detail scares the crap out of me too.

10) If I could find a decent job in Camrose, I would prolly never move out of the basement suite I currently rent there. I would prolly just eventually end up buying the damn house.

11) My drink of choice is Malibu Coconut Rum in Coke. Courage in a bottle usually leads to an eventful walk home through the park. Andy and Manda are most often my partners in crime when it comes to dumb things done after drinking.

Picking up the Gauntlet, Part 2

12) Mom's opinion and advice are still incredibly important to me. Even when I go my own stubborn way and ignore it, it still makes me feel good to know that Mom still cares enough to offer her wisdom to the situation.

13) I have owned (and almost constantly worn at home) the same hideous grey sweatpants for the last 4 or 5 years, despite Manda's repeated attempts to get me to never wear them again. I brought them to Germany too.

14) I am such a weak-assed nob, that yesterday after having Kidney (the world's most repulsive, grossest, most disgusting, chewiest food and something that I completely detest) sprung on me (and by surprise) at supper, I chowed down super fast just to get it off my plate. I then said something to the effect of it was kind of an interesting experience when my host mom asked me how I'd liked it. She knew I had lied, and I knew she knew that I'd lied, but pride was satisfied all round and she let it drop. In a country of super direct people, I still couldn't just out and out say I didn't like it.

15) I am a terrible story teller. I talk in circles and a 5 minute event can take an half an hour to tell. All I've got to say is that background is everything to the story. I would like to think I would be a funnier story teller if I could just get the story out before people get irritated and lose interest.

16) Sometimes after a particularly frustrating day as a teaching assistant I feel the strongest urge to run up and down the halls at school, yelling "Contraceptives are a GOOD thing" and handing out condoms.

17) I am a negative person. My glass is half empty, so bugger off already. I always feel the urge to throat punch people who tell me to be more positive (unless they are family - cause that would NEVER fly). I received a coffee cup that has the words pessimist's mug on it with a line that shows where half empty is. It is AWESOME.

18) I freeze as soon as I sit down and stop doing things. I am freezing and shivering right now. This means that my living room at home usually has 3 or 4 afghans kicking around within easy reach of my TV watching spot.

19) I am crap at making new friends. I find it really hard, with very few exceptions. But I would like to think that once I have made a friend, I will make the effort to keep them for life.

20) I drink herbal tea like most people drink plain water. My current fav is raspberry-vanilla.

21) I have no dress sense-I hate dress clothes. They are uncomfortable and I am incapable of coordinating them. Naomi gave me a written list that has colours and accessory ideas that "go" on it. I use the list all the time, but I don't think I am really getting it right. I tend to look more and more like a second hand store reject, the harder I try to get it right. Thus my motto- If jeans and a hoodie are not good enough then I am not going.

22) Sometimes I wonder if the only reason some people listen to me talk is to hear the next dumb thing I am going to say. Sometimes, when I talk to these people, I see how far I can reach into idiocy before they realize I am just messing with them.

23) I think the lyrics to most Pop songs are garbage and totally demeaning, but I love the beats and like to dance to them. I am a crap dancer though, with the exception of the time Meg and I managed to Cadillac Ranch to techno. That was awesome.

24) One word: Socks. Wear them people!

25) So far, my best purchase in Germany has been the world's warmest sleeping bag. It's super handy for visiting people. I named him Hector after Bee's "boyfriend" (the skull from the dig in Turkey) in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2.

Wow. long winded, eh? now you know. I hope I answered the challenge adequately :D

Where have all the good movies gone?

I love movies. they are fun and escapism is the word. But the movies i have watched lately have all been crap. what is with that?

For example, Wanted. It deserves a giant -15/10. It was that bad. not even that sweet scene where Jolie flips that red car around with the door open and picks the guy up can redeem the movie. There is basically no plot and a lot of people who get shot in the head. Also, the idea of weavers discovering binary on a loom over a thousand years ago and figuring that Fate WANTS them to kill people-it seems more than just a bit over the top. I really just want to know who would examine the weave of cloth that closely in the first place? and then do it repetitively. It makes no sense. Also, the movie was filled with random characters and crap dialogue.

Next up- Appaloosa. I like a good western. They always move slow and the plot takes a while to develop but it works for me. I did think that Ed Harris and Viggo Mortenson did a decent job playing rough, tough lawmen, but Renee Zellweger should just stop. There is just something about her voice- like nails on a chalkboard to me. She also earned my enmity by playing a terribly flawed character in the movie and Ed Harris just keeps coming back to her and basically that side plot takes over the main plot. Redeeming feature: Frustrating to watch but not your usual super cheesy western. I'd give it a 6.5/10

I have a few more to watch still, hopefully they restore my faith in the movies on 2008.